Articles

Farewell To Arms - Sylvia Takes the Kids

Larry and Sylvia were living the American Dream. They met in college, and got married in their junior year. Larry landed a job with a high tech company, and Sylvia completed some post-graduate work as a medical technician. After a couple of years of dual employment, they had two cars, a boat, two IRA's, several stock and investment accounts, cash in the bank, a water view home in Redondo, and a cabin on Whidbey Island.

According to plan, they started a family. After Josh and Tamarra were born, Larry and Sylvia alternated parental duties by taking leaves of absences from their jobs, and contributed equally in raising the children.

The years flew by. Larry and Sylvia worked very hard to improve their home, raise their kids, and advance in their professions. Josh and Tamarra excelled in school. Life was very, very good.

One fine sunny spring afternoon, with the rhododendrons and azaleas in full bloom, Larry came home at the usual time. But things at home were not usual. For starters, Sylvia's car was not in the garage. Larry entered the house through the garage, and saw that the lights were off. The house was too cool. There was no smell of dinner cooking. No sound of TV or sound system. Larry wandered around downstairs, calling out for Sylvia and kids. No one, nowhere, no how. This had never happened before.

Larry called 911. The local police had no information about any accident involving his family. Larry went upstairs to the bedroom to change before making more calls. On the bed was a large white envelope, on which Sylvia had written: "LARRY." Larry thought, "This is probably not a good sign."

He was right. Sylvia had written him a "Dear Larry" letter, in which she let him know that she was leaving him, had taken the kids to start a new life, and would be calling him soon to let him know how he could start visiting the children. "PS," her little love note ended, "you should send your child support of $3,400 per month to my mom until I am ready to give you our new address."

The doorbell rang. Larry ran to the door, thinking, "She changed her mind!"

But it wasn't Sylvia at the door. It was a cheerful young man with sunglasses and pierced ears. "Larry Alsop?"

"Yes."

"This is for you."

Larry took the papers, which were captioned "SUMMONS" and "PETITION FOR DISSOLUTION." The PS on this love note was in the form of more legal papers, titled "TEMPORARY ORDER OF CHILD SUPPORT," TEMPORARY PARENTING PLAN," and "TEMPORARY RESTRAINING ORDER."

It was after 6 p.m., and Larry called the respected local law firm of Sid Strong. To Larry's surprise, the phone was answered by the famous Sid himself. Sid answered a few questions, and said he'd see Larry at 7 am the next day.

Larry arrived at Sid's office at 6:45 am with bloodshot eyes, a stubble beard and rumpled clothes. Sid was already there, and there was a fresh brew of coffee. "Good news and bad news," said Sid. "No contest," said Larry. Good news first."

"OK," said Sid, "here it is. (1) You have a right to immediately respond. (2) Since Sylvia got her temporary orders "ex parte" (without any notice to you) by claiming an emergency, and there wasn't any, you should be able to get the Court to immediately hear what you have to say. (3) The Courts are much more receptive to parenting by fathers than they used to be. (4) Since you have been a great parent, and have done half the actual parenting, you theoretically have as good a chance as Sylvia to be awarded primary parenting duties for the children."

"And the bad news?"

Sid didn't flinch as he let Larry have it. "(1) By itself, your initial response in Court will not accomplish anything. The Judge probably won't read a word until the day before the next hearing. (2) The filing party often claims an emergency in order to get the ex parte orders. These claims are often false, but the Court seldom has the time or resources to do anything about it. (3) While dads are now getting a better break than they used to, the Courts still give primary custody to moms in the large majority of cases. (4) My experience is that when the parenting of both parents has been equal in quality and duration, the mom will usually get primary custody."

Larry pondered this information. "So what should I do?"

"Let's prepare a response, ask to get the kids immediately, and tell the Court that you want equal parenting until trial. We'll also ask for the appointment of a Guardian ad Litem to investigate the situation. Ninety percent of the time, the Court will follow the GAL's recommendations. At ages ten and fourteen, the kids are old enough that their wishes will be an important consideration for the GAL."

Larry stayed at the interview for two more hours, and Sid got detailed information to use in an affidavit. Larry poured out his heart: the infant feedings at 3:00 am; the bedside vigils when they had the flu; bedtime stories; homework; teaching chores; giving swimming lessons; coaching Little League. It was clear to Sid that Larry had been a high quality Dad. Sid prepared an emergency motion asking for equal time with the kids for Larry until the Guardian ad Litem's report was done. After Larry signed a Release of Medical Information, Sid got a Declaration from the family physician saying that the children would suffer emotional harm unless their Dad had equal parenting duties.

Larry stuck to Sid like glue. They finished the paperwork and rushed off to Court. It was obvious that Sid had been before the Ex Parte Commissioner many times, and that Sid was respected. Luck of the draw: the Commissioner was the same one who had entered the "emergency" order for Sylvia. After hearing from Sid and Larry, the Commissioner realized that Sylvia's motion was based on lies. Larry's hopes soared when the Commissioner actually granted his motion.

Sid arranged to have the Police help Larry pick up the kids. Larry called work, explained the situation, then went home to make calls to locate Sylvia. When he finally reached Sylvia's mom, Dotty, Larry got yet another shock. "I just don't know what to say, Larry. I'm so sorry," said Dotty tearfully. "Sylvia has run off with her no-good co-worker, Jack Kauff, to start a new life with him and the children."

After Larry picked his jaw up off the floor, he asked where Sylvia had gone. "You don't know?" sobbed Dotty. "Sylvia has moved to New York City with Jack. She's taken the children from us, too!"

(Next week: "The Family Reunion - Larry Gets the Kids")