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Making the best of supervised visitation

You don't think it's fair that you're being saddled with supervised visitation while the various issues involving your divorce and custody case get sorted out. However, that's what the judge is ordered.

What's the best response? If you ultimately hope to convince the judge to grant you unsupervised visitation, put your best face forward and get with the program. Fair or not, you have to jump through these hoops before you reach your goals.

How can you make the best of this (admittedly) bad situation? Try these tips:

  1. Be courteous and kind to the court-ordered supervisor. Don't let your frustrations at the situation or your co-parent boil over and cause you to misdirect your anger at the visitation supervisor. They can't control your case -- but they do report back to the judge. You don't want them to report that you're hostile and uncooperative.
  2. Have a plan for your time with your children. Don't show up without something in hand. Bring storybooks, puzzles or games. If you're lucky enough to have a mobile supervisor, ask about taking the kids to the zoo, playground or park.
  3. Put your phone in your pocket or leave it in the car. The last thing you want is for the visitation supervisor to tell the judge that you spent half your visitation arguing with someone on the phone or scrolling through social media. No matter what, focus your attention on the kids during visitation.
  4. Keep the positivity flowing. Don't swear and don't be negative about the situation -- even if the kids ask or say something. Be magnanimous about the judge, the court, the justice system and your co-parent. There's nothing bad to be said about relentless positivity.

In many cases, the judge simply wants to get a better view of the dynamics between you and your children (so that they don't have to rely on what your co-parent is saying). Use this time to your advantage and keep your mind focused on winning unsupervised custody through this process.

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